Stereos and crowded places

Its crowded in the bowling alley. People chatting, laughing, sometimes grumbling if they ended up with a split or didnt pick up what should have been an easy spare. And of course every three or four seconds the sound of bowling balls slamming into pins.
Faintly, I can here the stereo system in the background. Im actually thrilled at this, as they dont have it on the same station that they seem to favor every night. Whatever they do have it on has a playlist of thirty songs. Hearing them night after night for a year, well....you get the picture.
Anyway, they finally decided to play something different. However, it was at a level I could barely hear. Trying to figure out the song, I had narrowed it down to WallFlowers "One Headlight" and Sean Combs/Puff Daddy/P-Diddy/Who-The-Hell-Cares-Anymore "Ill Be Missing You". The base parts are actually quite similar. When I did finally identify it as the latter, I could hear the song quite clearly; every word, note, verse, chorus, etc. As if I never had any trouble at all in the first places.
Maybe sense it was a song that I already knew, once I identified it my brain went ahead and filled in the rest of the puzzle for me. Didnt have enough information the first time around.

Ok. Nuff of my random nonsense for now.

Stumble It!

Laa dee Dah

Damn. Im bored.
Do I have any readers? Blogs should have counters on them, so you can atleast see how many people accidently stumble in.
If ye do read this...blah.., leave me a note? even if its just to say this thing sucks, or leave a smiley, or a moon, or...eh, I dont care.
None of my fanfic haunts have updated recently. Ive done my share of hunting for the day in Gothador and then messed with the head of another player who didnt know that I was actually both of the Characters he was talking to.

In other news. I agreed to serve a 2 (or maybe 3..I dont remember) term as a Deacon of our church. What was i thinking??????
Where I personaly stand on religion has been in question for almost 5 years. I dont much agree with many of the Church's philosophies. An over abundance of Christian, churchlike stuff makes me uncomfortable. Dont know why, it just does. I was also asked to serve last year. My answer was no before they even finnished asking (though i did wait for them to finnish). My reasons for turning them down then still exsist now. Why my subconscious didnt protest this time, I dont know. But the 'damage' is done, and I get to spend the next couple years deciding when to bite my tounge and when to speak out. I do not mean to offend any Christians who stumble over here. I respect and applaud you in the fact that you walk the spiritual path that you choose to walk. Unfortunalty, no matter how hard I try, Im pretty sure that its not mine.
Which path is? I have no idea. If Im honest with my self, Im tottering a border between pagan and pagan-christian. I dunno.

I would like to post the following poem. It was sent around on a mailing list I was on a few years back.


I Don't Want to be Saved


I don't want to be saved.
I don't want to read your scripture.
I don't want to tell you what I believe on your scripture.
It will mean nothing to you
...unless it is the answer you want to hear
and that would be a lie.

I'd rather have a relationship with you.
I'd rather share my heart and feeling.
I'd rather be your friend.
I'd rather get to know you.

For that is where my beliefs lie.
With my heart and feeling.
It is that vital human connection
.. where one lives, breathes, loves,
where one celebrates, dances, cries
where one mourns.
Real feelings.
Real lives.
Real beliefs.

I sit apon a mountain.
I feel it's stone and cool earth beneath me.
I feel a wind apon my cheek.
I feel its rain and fog on my brow.
Here I connect to the heart of the earth.

I listen to people,

sharing joys, concerns, and frustrations.
I hug and I cry.
I console people in need or just want.
Here I connect to people.

I find God in many things,
through people, nature, books,
within me, chruch,
listening to a child's giggle,
Dancing to my soul,
creating ritual and rebirth.

I am a Christian, a Buddhist, a Jungian, a Taoist,
a Pagan, a spiritual being, a witch, a therapist, a counselor
I am an devine child.
I have gone through so many trials
I have been through many set backs.

But I have survived and continued on.
I took a journey through the heart and soul.
It has been a terrifying journey at times
and a journey of wonder and joy at other times.

I fought for what I believe.
I am not giving my beliefs up.
They change from day to day.
But they are my beliefs!

I respect you for your beliefs.
I would like you to respect mine.

I don't want to be saved.

I already am!

by Flutesong
Copywrite 2002

Stumble It!

Where're all the cars?

Yeh. Weird, I know. Not an hour ago I was sitting in a nice 'little' clog due to a fender-bender and here I am asking where the cars are.
NC liscence plate system is as follows. The first three characters are letters, then theres a dash, then 4 numbers. So your basic non-custom standard plate looks like this: ABC-1234. It takes about a year for a letter to run its course (The first letter...). This year all the plates start with V, last year was T, the year before that was S...get the picture? Anyway, a few years ago. There were tons of cars that had P series Plates, Pxx-xxxx, and a handful of Ns. Not many before that. The next year, I didnt see to many Ns, a handfull of Ps, and a shit load of Rs. This pattern continues to present day. Where V plates and T plates are all over the place.

Are we really so materialistic that we absolutly have to have a brand new car every other year or something? What other reasons am I missing that everyone seems to be getting a new vehicle all the damn time?

Ill keep my "A" series plate, thankyouverymuch.

Stumble It!

I dont understand...

Maybe its because Im still stuck living at home (cant find a job that pays enough to get out), along with my older sister, (who in all likelyhood will probably be for a good while yet to come) and treated like a mere child and then reprimanded like one when I decide to go a different route than what is 'suggested' to me.
I dont understand how my older sister can get away constantly get away with such bad and childish behaivor; yelling, screaming, vulgar language, the occasional hit, and so forth, and yet before I even think of opening my mouth to retaliate (am I supposed to let my sister constantly get away with calling me a fucking bitch all the time? umm...no) I am yelled at by my parents to stay out of it and not aggrivate her. Aggrivate her???? As opposed to what? She's already at her peak!
Of course, none of the latter would be happening if I had been permitted to walk away. When she started up her rant, I had every intention of leaving the room. But no, I had to sit down and stay put, and "not let her win", as it were. I fail to see how refusing to stay in the presence of a child is letting her win. Ive seen 4 year olds with more maturity.
Mom, Dad, Im sure you figured it out, but she won. She was ordered to leave to room, and she refused. The movie credits were played, as per her wishes.
Believe it or not, ladies and gents, my 26 year old sister had a temper tantrum thatll rival that of a 2 year old because SOMEONE STOPPED THE MOVIE WHEN THE CREDITS STARTED. Other than a cast list, ending credits arent all that interesting.
Im tired of the exscuses. Im tired of hearing "I would think you'd understand by now..." or "be tolerant" or "thats just the way she is". Granted, we dont know why she is the way she is, but at this point, I dont see how a medical 'lable' will change anything.
Its always the same, she erupts over something minor, gives us all royal hell, and rant herself to sleep. When she wakes up its as nothing ever happened ("she doesnt remember"), and its back to 'happy' family.

And Im supposed to accept this?

Stumble It!