Laa dee Dah

Damn. Im bored.
Do I have any readers? Blogs should have counters on them, so you can atleast see how many people accidently stumble in.
If ye do read this...blah.., leave me a note? even if its just to say this thing sucks, or leave a smiley, or a moon, or...eh, I dont care.
None of my fanfic haunts have updated recently. Ive done my share of hunting for the day in Gothador and then messed with the head of another player who didnt know that I was actually both of the Characters he was talking to.

In other news. I agreed to serve a 2 (or maybe 3..I dont remember) term as a Deacon of our church. What was i thinking??????
Where I personaly stand on religion has been in question for almost 5 years. I dont much agree with many of the Church's philosophies. An over abundance of Christian, churchlike stuff makes me uncomfortable. Dont know why, it just does. I was also asked to serve last year. My answer was no before they even finnished asking (though i did wait for them to finnish). My reasons for turning them down then still exsist now. Why my subconscious didnt protest this time, I dont know. But the 'damage' is done, and I get to spend the next couple years deciding when to bite my tounge and when to speak out. I do not mean to offend any Christians who stumble over here. I respect and applaud you in the fact that you walk the spiritual path that you choose to walk. Unfortunalty, no matter how hard I try, Im pretty sure that its not mine.
Which path is? I have no idea. If Im honest with my self, Im tottering a border between pagan and pagan-christian. I dunno.

I would like to post the following poem. It was sent around on a mailing list I was on a few years back.


I Don't Want to be Saved


I don't want to be saved.
I don't want to read your scripture.
I don't want to tell you what I believe on your scripture.
It will mean nothing to you
...unless it is the answer you want to hear
and that would be a lie.

I'd rather have a relationship with you.
I'd rather share my heart and feeling.
I'd rather be your friend.
I'd rather get to know you.

For that is where my beliefs lie.
With my heart and feeling.
It is that vital human connection
.. where one lives, breathes, loves,
where one celebrates, dances, cries
where one mourns.
Real feelings.
Real lives.
Real beliefs.

I sit apon a mountain.
I feel it's stone and cool earth beneath me.
I feel a wind apon my cheek.
I feel its rain and fog on my brow.
Here I connect to the heart of the earth.

I listen to people,

sharing joys, concerns, and frustrations.
I hug and I cry.
I console people in need or just want.
Here I connect to people.

I find God in many things,
through people, nature, books,
within me, chruch,
listening to a child's giggle,
Dancing to my soul,
creating ritual and rebirth.

I am a Christian, a Buddhist, a Jungian, a Taoist,
a Pagan, a spiritual being, a witch, a therapist, a counselor
I am an devine child.
I have gone through so many trials
I have been through many set backs.

But I have survived and continued on.
I took a journey through the heart and soul.
It has been a terrifying journey at times
and a journey of wonder and joy at other times.

I fought for what I believe.
I am not giving my beliefs up.
They change from day to day.
But they are my beliefs!

I respect you for your beliefs.
I would like you to respect mine.

I don't want to be saved.

I already am!

by Flutesong
Copywrite 2002

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